My knees are broken.
They couldn't bare the weight of my fatigued body anymore. and it didn't help when you kicked them. it didn't help when you pushed me down. Thanks anyway.
My hands are bleeding.
That happened when I fell. When I fell and you didn't catch me. When I fell and you didn't care.
My body is bruised
My body is blue. I'm pretty sure that came from you. Why did you kick me when I was down? Why did you hit me so hard? Were my broken knees and bleeding hands not enough?
You bashed and battered me to bits.
My knees are broken
My hands are bleeding
My knees are broken, but I will still pray
My hands are bleeding, but I will still give
My knees are broken, but still I will stand
My hands are bleeding, but still I will hold on
My knees are broken, but still I will run
My hands are bleeding, but still I will write
My body is bruised, but my Spirit is Strong
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Maybe
Maybe it's the way his gaze doesn't seem to just see, it seems to steal a part of me. Flash of green stars. Green fire. Green light. Green. Green headlights. I'm dazed, amazed and I forget how to move. I forget how to speak. Forget to breath. Wait, what?
Maybe it's the way he laughs.
Maybe it's that feeling.
Maybe it's the way all of these stay in my mind. In my heart. Even after it ended.
Maybe it's pitiful that he still lives in my mind, he's still the king of my heart and now the master of my pain.
Maybe... just maybe... that's love.
Maybe it's how I drown in his voice. I drown in the sound, the soft rumble of waves, words washing away reality. Swallow me up. Soak me to the bone. I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty.
Maybe it's his touch. Each muscle, each vain, each bone under his skin. Oh his skin.The shadow of his touch. It lingers. His long figures. Lingers. His lips. Lingers. Oh his skin.
Maybe it's the way he laughs.
Maybe it's the way I make him laugh. He makes me laugh.
Maybe it's that feeling.
Maybe it's the way all of these stay in my mind. In my heart. Even after it ended.
Maybe it's pitiful that he still lives in my mind, he's still the king of my heart and now the master of my pain.
Maybe... just maybe... that's love.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Childhood
Back in the day of childhood, the outdoors were exciting. The sweet breeze, and sway of tress called for me. The grassy earth was perfect for napping, and for dancing. The taste of rain took away pain and that was priceless.
Then one day the outdoors were boring. The taste of gossip smothered on lips was better then the taste of the air. The sound of music beat that of the birds, and the relationship with screens were more real then with people.
Then one day the outdoors were scary. If you went out, you would come back hurt. Storms were harsh and the thunder was loud. The people seemed robotic, their creations chaotic, and inside was the place I hid.
Then one day the outdoors were mysterious. I no longer knew what it was. The trees began to call again.. their song like the voice of a long lost friend. When I tried to listen, the robots would shut me up, and tell me it was nothing.
But it was something
Then one day the indoors were jealous. They noticed I lingered at the door, that I longed for something more. But they told me comfort was inside. They closed my eyes, made me blind and told me they knew what love was.
Today I'm entangled by wires and plugs. I'm shunned by lip gloss mugs. The inside is cold, and outside is colder, but outside makes me feel alive. So I went out and laid in the grass, and watch the clouds dance and felt my soul dance again. I went to the swings. I talked to peoples faces. I walked to different places and I swear that day I flew. The day I did what children do.
Then one day the outdoors were boring. The taste of gossip smothered on lips was better then the taste of the air. The sound of music beat that of the birds, and the relationship with screens were more real then with people.
Then one day the outdoors were scary. If you went out, you would come back hurt. Storms were harsh and the thunder was loud. The people seemed robotic, their creations chaotic, and inside was the place I hid.
Then one day the outdoors were mysterious. I no longer knew what it was. The trees began to call again.. their song like the voice of a long lost friend. When I tried to listen, the robots would shut me up, and tell me it was nothing.
But it was something
Then one day the indoors were jealous. They noticed I lingered at the door, that I longed for something more. But they told me comfort was inside. They closed my eyes, made me blind and told me they knew what love was.
Today I'm entangled by wires and plugs. I'm shunned by lip gloss mugs. The inside is cold, and outside is colder, but outside makes me feel alive. So I went out and laid in the grass, and watch the clouds dance and felt my soul dance again. I went to the swings. I talked to peoples faces. I walked to different places and I swear that day I flew. The day I did what children do.
Silent Spaces & Loud Sturggles
Time to do another blog.
There are moments of pitter patter on the key bored...
as I awkwardly type out my nervous words.
Trying to impress.
Dread and excitement fill my soul,
while my mind fills with ideas.
I anxiously sit down and stare at the blank page.
And it remains blank
For an uncomfortable amount of time.
...followed up by silence.
It reminds me of talking to a crush...
...one I really want to impress.
But I can't make conversation to save my life!
When asked about myself,
I forget who I am.
I like to sleep.
I like food.
And I think I like writing?
I know I just look stupid.
I'm blowing it.
Big time.
That's how I feel,as I awkwardly type out my nervous words.
But the blank spaces of silence fill my mind and fill my empty page.
~Blank
~Blank
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Enough
Dear Me,
Well I just wanted to stop by and say hello! You seemed a little bummed the other day. I know a lot of people have been making you feel small... again. Making it seem like you aren't smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough or just plain good enough. Well it happens. To everyone. So I just wanted to say it's okay. You are good enough! You're more then just enough! I don't know if you believe me. But it's true. I know you like to think of all things you're not. But maybe you could try thinking of all the things you are. I mean, you're pretty cool! You might not have perfect grades, but I think your pretty smart. Maybe you don't have that body everyone says you should have. But your body works! You have legs, arms, a heart, and lungs! (And it's a pretty good looking body in my eyes.) And you might feel kinda wimpy sometimes. But strength doesn't always have to be physical. I know you have a strong spirit. You've gone threw some hard stuff! So I hope you remember that even when it feels like the world is agents you, I will always be there for you. Always. Because you're worth it. We are worth it. Please stop listening to those who say your not, because I KNOW you are. And please, treat yourself good. Okay? Promise? Because, I think you're really awesome.
~Me
Well I just wanted to stop by and say hello! You seemed a little bummed the other day. I know a lot of people have been making you feel small... again. Making it seem like you aren't smart enough, beautiful enough, strong enough or just plain good enough. Well it happens. To everyone. So I just wanted to say it's okay. You are good enough! You're more then just enough! I don't know if you believe me. But it's true. I know you like to think of all things you're not. But maybe you could try thinking of all the things you are. I mean, you're pretty cool! You might not have perfect grades, but I think your pretty smart. Maybe you don't have that body everyone says you should have. But your body works! You have legs, arms, a heart, and lungs! (And it's a pretty good looking body in my eyes.) And you might feel kinda wimpy sometimes. But strength doesn't always have to be physical. I know you have a strong spirit. You've gone threw some hard stuff! So I hope you remember that even when it feels like the world is agents you, I will always be there for you. Always. Because you're worth it. We are worth it. Please stop listening to those who say your not, because I KNOW you are. And please, treat yourself good. Okay? Promise? Because, I think you're really awesome.
~Me
Alive and Living
Well here you are!
Alive and Living.
I’m not sure how you feel, but I hope you feel good.
Just take a deep breath for me.
You feel that?
You feel how your lungs fill up with air.
Do it again.
In…
Out…
Now, do you feel that pounding in your chest?
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
That’s your heart.
Pumping blood through your veins.
From your heart, down your back, around your ribs, to the very tips of your toes, your fingers, even your ears.
You feel it all?
Feel every body part.
Notice how you can see your nose sitting right there on your face.
Feel your cramped tongue, squished with spit inside your mouth.
Feel your clothes covering your skin and your hair sprouting from your scalp.
Yup.
It’s all there.
And it’s all you.
Pretty incredible huh?
You
Your pretty incredible.
And you’re the only you there will ever be.
So what are you going to do about it?
What are you going to do?
We already established that you have lungs, a heart, fingers, toes, a squishy tongue..
And that you are alive.
Remember that.
But more importantly, remember to live...
~Feeling Alive
Alive and Living.
I’m not sure how you feel, but I hope you feel good.
Just take a deep breath for me.
You feel that?
You feel how your lungs fill up with air.
Do it again.
In…
Out…
Now, do you feel that pounding in your chest?
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
That’s your heart.
Pumping blood through your veins.
From your heart, down your back, around your ribs, to the very tips of your toes, your fingers, even your ears.
You feel it all?
Feel every body part.
Notice how you can see your nose sitting right there on your face.
Feel your cramped tongue, squished with spit inside your mouth.
Feel your clothes covering your skin and your hair sprouting from your scalp.
Yup.
It’s all there.
And it’s all you.
Pretty incredible huh?
You
Your pretty incredible.
And you’re the only you there will ever be.
So what are you going to do about it?
What are you going to do?
We already established that you have lungs, a heart, fingers, toes, a squishy tongue..
And that you are alive.
Remember that.
But more importantly, remember to live...
~Feeling Alive
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Introducing Me
Well hello. I suppose it’s time for me to introduce myself. You only get one shot at a first impression so here goes everything.
First, let me make myself presentable. I’ll put on perfume, make sure my dress fits right, and that my hair falls gently down my back. It doesn’t bother me to dress up, like it might to some girls. But it doesn't bother me to get dirty either.
I will try to include intellectual incite, but that will soon fade, for I am not much a formal speaker. No, I’m not that fancy at all. I guess you could say I’m kind of a klutz, and a little awkward. So don’t mind as I fidget nervously and stumble over my own words. First impressions are always a bit intimidating.
Especially this one.
For this is will be that moment you decide weather or not I am worth your time. Well I hope I am. Because you are worth mine.
So here I am. All dressed up with a smile permanently painted across my face. ‘A pretty little thing’ you might say. ‘Cute and clumsy.’ But not memorable. Then perhaps you will move on to the next person in line.
That’s what they all do.
That’s what they all think.
They think I’m small, they think I’m week, and they think I’m fragile. Those might be true. But so often do people look past the strength that I have. They forget that I have felt anger, I have felt fear, and I have felt heartbreak. They forget that I don’t always have to be taken care of.
Don’t you forget.
Don’t you forget me.
Remember me, the girl who sits caged in by expectations and safety nets. The bird that isn't allowed to fly, for fear she might get lost. But I am always lost. I am lost in mind, for I wonder to a place where I can simply be. I imagine adventuring around the world. Taking risks! Reaching new heights! Finding out my own potential! And writing a story worth reading.
Remember me, as the girl who wants more then this pathetic, pre-planned life. Who wants adventure. To chase her dreams. Remember me, who loves fairy tales. Who loves the smell of grass and the taste of hot chocolate. Remember me, who loves the sound of laughter. Who loves tea pots and hiking trails. Remember me, who likes to dress up. But most importantly remember me, who likes to get dirty.
~ the Bird who Dreams to Fly
First, let me make myself presentable. I’ll put on perfume, make sure my dress fits right, and that my hair falls gently down my back. It doesn’t bother me to dress up, like it might to some girls. But it doesn't bother me to get dirty either.
I will try to include intellectual incite, but that will soon fade, for I am not much a formal speaker. No, I’m not that fancy at all. I guess you could say I’m kind of a klutz, and a little awkward. So don’t mind as I fidget nervously and stumble over my own words. First impressions are always a bit intimidating.
Especially this one.
For this is will be that moment you decide weather or not I am worth your time. Well I hope I am. Because you are worth mine.
So here I am. All dressed up with a smile permanently painted across my face. ‘A pretty little thing’ you might say. ‘Cute and clumsy.’ But not memorable. Then perhaps you will move on to the next person in line.
That’s what they all do.
That’s what they all think.
They think I’m small, they think I’m week, and they think I’m fragile. Those might be true. But so often do people look past the strength that I have. They forget that I have felt anger, I have felt fear, and I have felt heartbreak. They forget that I don’t always have to be taken care of.
Don’t you forget.
Don’t you forget me.
Remember me, as the girl who wants more then this pathetic, pre-planned life. Who wants adventure. To chase her dreams. Remember me, who loves fairy tales. Who loves the smell of grass and the taste of hot chocolate. Remember me, who loves the sound of laughter. Who loves tea pots and hiking trails. Remember me, who likes to dress up. But most importantly remember me, who likes to get dirty.
~ the Bird who Dreams to Fly
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