Introducing Me, The Real Me

Well hey!

Looks like you know who I am now.

Never thought I would share so much of me with people I hardly know.

Crazy enough, it's not as scary as I thought it would be. Maybe it helps knowing I will be leaving this school pretty soon. But non the less, I want the flow to keep spewing, I want to be brave like Peyton Sawyer, and I want to continue to get to know you. (Now I'll be able to picture a face when I read your words.)

And I want to you to continue to get to know me.

So here goes everything.

Hello, my name is Alena Kay. My middle name (Kay) has been passed down for three generations. I'm not really sure it's significance, but I once convinced someone that my family owned Kay Jewelers. And I like the idea of being the third Kay in the family. Alena Kay the 3rd. 

I really want a pet bird. I would name him Steve.

When I get nervous I say 'Hi' a lot. That or I play with my hair. Or talk a lot. Or go mute. But I'm actually okay with silence. I don't think it's awkward.

I guess I kind of have a boyfriend? I say kind of, because I've never really given that title to someone, so it really freaks me out. Last time I got close to giving that title, I got a broken heart and the title "lets just be friends" in return. So lets just say I've gone on lots of fun dates, with this guy I really like, and it's going well!

I'm the top female sprinter of Lone Peak! That's right, this tiny little girl is an athlete. Like, a legit one. No one really pays mind to the track team, but track is something I'm actually good at. That doesn't happen to me much, so it's a pretty big deal.

I cry a lot. When I get stressed, when something touches my heart, when I'm tired, when I'm super happy, when my friends force me to watch scary movies... it's a problem.

I'm really good at holding back my tears. It's a skill I've practiced for years. My secret is to just blink really fast and distract yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself you have to be strong. And keep your eyes moving.

I love Disney princesses more then normal for my age.

My birth dad left me and mom when I was very young. Luckily I had my grandpa and uncles to look to for that father figure. My mom got married when I was 6, but then divorced when I was 7. Lucky for me though, she's married again! (family trees were way confusing for me as a kid)

So I guess that's a little bit more of me, the real me. Even though I'm not really sure what the 'real me' really means.

I hope you still show me you, the real you. Even if your not really sure what that means.

How to Procrastinate

Frozen Bones

I went running in the rain

and the droplets soaked threw my skin to my bone

and it froze.

My bones froze over and now all I feel is cold.

It's been three days.

My skin is warm, but I shiver from my ice sculpted skeleton.

My breath is cold.

It takes a long time for blankets to warm me,

but I long for their company,

in hopes to thaw me

Why is it so cold!?

I went running in the rain three days ago,

but the tips of my fingers and toes are still cold.

I swear that water froze my bones,

froze my senses,

because this doesn't make sense!

I think if I cried, my tears would be ice.

Everyone said I run nice.

They told me what I could do

what I should do

with my talents.

They started making maps for me,

told me what to dream,

and then my bones froze.

The real answer is written in my bones,

but the frost has covered the words,

and that's colder then any temperature.

I went running in the rain

and it froze my bones,

and heart,

and soul.

I don't know where to go

because I'm so cold!

That blasted rain froze my bones.

Sad Chair.. My Chair

Welcome to my room

When the blinds are closed

Under the Window

My chair is froze

Welcome to my room

When the sun shines in

But the work piles high

My chair still turned in

Simple Advice

I have some advice for you

 

 Get out there. Because you never know what you might find.

Words I Wish Were Mine

Famous

By Naomi Shihab Nye

The River is famous to the fish

(the river is it's home, it's safety, it's danger, it's world.)

The loud voice is famous to silence,

which knew it would inherit the earth 

before anybody said so.

The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds 

watching him from the birdhouse.

(That cat could change a birds world for good or bad. Watch out.)

The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.

The idea you carry close to your bosom 

is famous to your bosom.

(your idea.. it's all yours.)

The boot is famous to the earth,

more famous than the dress shoe.

which is famous only to floors.

(This is golden! I love this for so many reasons I can't explain)

The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it 

and not at all famous to the one who is pictured.

(You could mean the world to someone, and not even know. Or someone could mean the world to you, and they don't even care. but you hold onto that moment, memory, in the form of a picture.. past lovers.. past friends.. past family..)

I want to be famous to shuffling men

who smile while crossing streets,

sticky children in grocery lines, 

famous as the one who smiled back.

(Wait for an old man to cross the street, and smile! Smile to a kid in line! Smile to people as you walk by!)

I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous.

or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,

but because it never forgot what it could do.

(some of the most important, and impactful things to do are the small simple things! Like smiling! I want to remember this! I want to live this!)